Keep your turnkey away from my touch points!

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[This entry originally appeared on Clare Lynch’s blog, goodcopybadcopy]

A reader forwarded the following copy to me, hoping I could explain to him what the company responsible for it actually did. They lost me at “turnkey” – can anyone else help?

Your Turnkey Source For Highly Customized Internet Marketing Solutions

Plug into a proven source of interactive success through xxxxx, your dedicated partner on the Web. Rely on us to provide a full spectrum of Internet marketing solutions, precisely engineered to meet your needs. At xxxxx, we treat each and every phase of your interactive marketing program as a meticulous science – leveraging the latest technology, resource tools, and consumer trends to maximize your return on investment. Because the success of our clients is so pivotal to our own continued growth and vitality, we strive to deliver the highest level of service at every touch point.

Whatever they do, I think I’ll pass on the invitation to be part of their continued growth and vitality. Because impressed as I am with their meticulously scientific, precisely engineered, full-spectrum, solution-filled, resource-tooled and highly leveraged approach, I’m quite choosy about who I let near my touch points.

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