Corpspeak alert: “solutions” still going strong

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[This entry originally appeared on Clare Lynch’s blog, goodcopybadcopy]

Everyone seems to hate the word solutions, but marketers still can’t help wheeling it out at any opportunity – as these three recent arrivals in my inbox show.

regus

Low cost? Great! Flexible? Great! But what exactly are you advertising?

accessscreenshot

Wow, thanks! I’ve had that jar containing a homogeneous mixture of two or more substances knocking around on my desk since the summer and I’ve been meaning to leverage its capabilities for ages.

libertyscreenshot

Genius! Take your “solutions” criminality to the next level – incorporate the word into a hideous pun that makes what you’re selling sound wholly uninviting. At least it might distract your readers from your apostrophe sins and that bizarre “dot” conceit you’ve become so fond of.

For more on why you shouldn’t use the word “solutions”, see my guest post on Brad Shorr’s Word Sell blog.

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7 Responses to Corpspeak alert: “solutions” still going strong

  1. Richard Owsley February 3, 2010 at 5:29 pm #

    I’ve read that Access one four times now and I’m none the wiser as to what Access does. I knew what Regus and Liberty did beforehand so I suppose that’s cheating. But if I hadn’t have known, I don’t suppose I’d have had a clue either about Regus. They’re all pretty poor efforts at communicating though aren’t they?

  2. Andrew Nattan February 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm #

    I think that “Dressolutions” is probably more a play on “Resolutions”, given the context…

    However, that “get more from your solutions” line is truly vile. Honestly. I think I was just sick in my own mouth.

  3. Brad Shorr February 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm #

    Clare, Is there, oh is there, a solution to the solution problem in copywriting? What we need is some dissolution.

  4. Steevill February 4, 2010 at 10:55 am #

    There is a door and window company in Dublin, with van livery that proudly proclaims ‘Opening Solutions’.

  5. ali turnbull February 4, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    There’s a company called Laundry Solutions which I thought was things like non-bio liquid and fabric conditioner but no, it’s a consultancy.

    Oh, and the anti-spam word to post this comment is ‘learnings’

  6. Bridget Reilly February 8, 2010 at 12:01 am #

    I’m relieved to see I’m not the only one building a case against “solutions”, can we add the phrase “all your X needs” to that hit list? It’s the crutch for lazy advertisers!
    In related jargon news, the anti-spam confirmation to post this response was “synergy”…

  7. Paul Mitchell February 26, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    Hello Clare,

    I received this today and thought you might like it:

    “Euan worked on the BBC’s award winning leadership programme, gaining experience in how to engage and inspire people with the possibilities of social computing as a business tool. He is now an independent advisor on social computing for business, as well as a reputable writer, thinker and public speaker.”

    Can one be a reputable thinker?

    P

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